Writer considers inappropriate kiss

Dear Amy: When I was 18, a friend of my father’s asked to meet me for coffee. After coffee, he put his young daughter in their car and then sat with me in my car for a few minutes, holding my hand and telling me how he had been thinking of me over the last couple years, while he was going through his divorce.

He ended this by kissing me.

I fled as soon as I was able to, and never said anything about it to anyone. I believe I initially feared my father would be angry with me, and I would get in trouble.

I don’t like that this happened to me, but I wasn’t scarred by it and haven’t really been carrying it around with me for the last 15-plus years.

In light of the current political climate and public discourse, however, I find myself wondering if I should disclose it to my (conservative) father. I’m not sure what I’d expect or want my father’s reaction to be. What do you think? — Wondering

Dear Wondering: I think you are wondering about confronting the wrong person. Compose an email to this man, and tell him that you resent his behavior toward you when he was an adult and you were a teenager.

Try to prepare yourself for any response from him. He might apologize to you, but he is just as likely to deny the entire episode or blame you for contacting him now.

After you confront him, then you should talk to your father about it, if you feel the need, or if you think his knowing about this serves the greater good. Knowing this might answer some questions about your behavior — or his friend’s behavior — from that time. Understand that he might also choose to confront this person, and/or end the friendship. He might also choose to continue in the friendship — and you should prepare yourself for that. statement