Want to break up? Then let him know

Dear Amy: A few months ago, I started casually dating “Robert.” Robert told me from the beginning that he had a very strict diet, didn’t drink alcohol and paid close attention to ingredients in products that he used. I thought he was just an extremely healthy guy.

Robert told me that he has a degenerative disease, which will cause issues with his motor functions, speech and vision. He thinks that he has another three or four years left of being able to fully care for himself.

Robert is a sweet guy with a big heart, but I don’t know if I want to sign up for years of being someone’s caregiver. .

I decided to end it with Robert. I started to pull back, and tried to make it obvious that I was losing interest. He apparently didn’t notice the signs, so I told him that I felt it was better if we just remained friends.

Amy, it’s like he didn’t even register what I said! He stills calls and texts daily.

I don’t want to hurt him or be cruel, but how do I make a clean break? — Unsure

Dear Unsure: From your reporting, “Robert” has been very upfront with you. He has actually said the words that give you a good understanding of who he is and what he is dealing with.

You have every right to break up with him — and I agree with you that you should. You obviously have no intention of staying with him, so don’t you think he deserves to hear the truth from you?

When you say, “Let’s remain friends,” he believes you are being honest (you are not), and he thinks, “Great! We’re friends now, and so yes, let’s remain friends!” Stop wasting his time.

Tell him, “I’m breaking up with you. I appreciate your honesty, but I find your health challenges overwhelming. You are a great guy, and I hope you will find the right person to be with, but I’m not that person.”