‘Helpful’ man poses a #MeToo riddle

Dear Amy: I like to think that I am a caring and sensitive man — one who respects women and appreciates the spirit of the #MeToo movement. Therefore, a recent experience has me disturbed.

One recent evening, I was with a woman that I know well. We had drinks. It became apparent to me that she was quite intoxicated and probably should head to bed to sleep it off. I helped her up to the bathroom. After a few minutes, when I heard the door open, I came to check on her. She was naked, and she made strong sexual advances toward me.

I knew that the “right” thing to do was to help her get dressed and into bed for sleep. But I was weak. We engaged in sexual activity, and I believed there was a possibility that the next day she would not remember. Yet I continued. Have I committed “date rape”? Am I a “predator”?

And finally, Amy, does it matter that this woman is my wife of 25 years? — Wondering Husband

Dear Husband: I hope this didn’t really happen; I’m assuming instead that your question might be a disingenuous riddle, designed to trip up an unsuspecting reader.

Let’s establish at the outset that no, you are not a caring and sensitive man. Taking the scenario you describe at face value — yes, you sexually assaulted your wife. She was drunk; you were sober. She wasn’t able to consent to sex — not that you asked her. No, you did not commit “date rape.” You did, however, commit “marital rape.” You pursued an incapacitated woman for the purpose of having sex with her. Yes, this makes you a predator.

Importantly, and unfortunately — your wife is married to a man who thinks this is a clever and legitimate question worthy of some sort of debate. I genuinely feel sorry for her. You should be ashamed of yourself.