Woman missing one thing: friends

Dear Amy: I am a married mother in my early 30s. Over time I have had a “falling out” (so to speak) with each and every one of my life-long friends (close friends from high school/college).

I will spare you the specifics of how these friendships ended, but I now find myself with no close friends.

I have had no luck finding new friends my age that share my interests. Is there something wrong with me? My marriage is strong, my career is everything I want it to be, and my children are happy, yet I seem to be failing terribly at having and keeping close friends. — Friendless

Dear Friendless: Your behavior of dropping all of your friendships implies a pattern. So, yes, you should carefully examine your own behavior, take responsibility and most importantly — see what negative patterns emerge that you can change.

Making new friends — especially in adulthood — is a significant challenge. Most parents find themselves thrown together with other parents at the playground or at school; these glancing connections can evolve into very rewarding relationships centered around family life. Are there other moms in your circle you’d like to befriend? Many of us also find pals that bloom into friendships at work.

But transforming an acquaintance into a friendship can seem like a delicate dance. One of my own besties simply approached me in our daughters’ kindergarten classroom and said, “Hey, you seem cool. Do you want to be friends?” Turns out, I’m not that cool (she is!), but we’ve managed to stay friends for 25 years.

Read “Friendships Don’t Just Happen!: The Guide to Creating a Meaningful Circle of Girlfriends,” by Shasta Nelson (2013, Turner). Nelson is also CEO of the innovative friendship matching site: girlfriendcircles.com.