Family worries about sister’s fiance

Dear Amy: My sister has been dating “Bob” for 18 months. About six months into dating, Bob began to publicly display odd behavior, such as asking my father if he was going to be put into his will.

This prompted a few family members to look into this guy’s history. We found out that he lied about his profession, was arrested but not convicted of rape in college and was involved in a private high school scandal in which he was kicked out of teaching for possession of child pornography in another city.

We told my sister what we learned and despite the information she chose to believe him that all of it is just a misunderstanding. Of course, it’s her right to make this choice.

Since this confrontation, other family members have had issues with this guy, including one time when he made sexual comments to a family member.

My sister and he are now getting married. My wife and I would prefer not to attend the wedding and don’t want our daughter involved.

I believe she’s making a mistake. She is free to do as she pleases, but I just don’t think that we need to be there to witness it.

What would you do? — Worried Brother

Dear Worried:

I can understand why you want to give this event a wide berth. You should be straightforward with your sister: “Unfortunately, because of serious concerns we have about ‘Bob’s’ history and character, we aren’t able to support your choice to marry him. Attending the wedding would be hypocritical on our part, and we regret that we won’t be there.”

If you choose to attend, definitely find something else for your daughter to do that day. Under no circumstances should you place her in this man’s path.