Would-be mother suffers with news

Dear Amy: All my life, I have wanted to be a mother. Two years ago, I learned that the only way would be through IVF. I was devastated, but still hopeful.

My sister-in-law confided in me that she and her husband were struggling to become pregnant. I, in turn, opened up to her about my own infertility.

Last year on Father’s Day I was invited to a gathering at their home.

They surprised with the news that expecting.

I felt like I had been gutpunched, but managed a smile and congratulations.

I was inconsolable.

I didn’t understand my feelings. Why was I so tormented by someone’s good news? I felt angry at them for not allowing me to deal with it in private.

I expect they shared my misfortunes with everyone.

It has been a year. Their child was born, and I have had two failed embryo transfers through IVF. I have not seen or spoken to them.

I am still hurting. don’t know what to do. — Bitter

Dear Bitter: I agree that it was extremely insensitive of your sister-in-law not to recognize your situation and at least give you a heads-up. She doesn’t seem supportive, now. Your reaction is visceral and understandable.

However, one unfortunate consequence is that you are not able to enjoy contact with a baby.

You should be brave and explain yourself. Tell your sisterin-law — “I’m sorry I’ve stayed away, but your pregnancy and birth have reminded me of my own struggle. It’s been very hard for me, and I’m sorry.”

Your IVF clinic will have information about support groups.

I must point out that giving birth is NOT the only way to become a mother. I urge you to consider adoption as a way to make your family complete. everyone they were

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