Teacher’s book gives hope to caregivers

When Mary Monroe married her husband Mike she never imagined that one day she would be his caregiver.

She recently wrote a self-care book called “I Didn’t Sign Up for This: One Dementia Caregiver’s Personal Story and How She Survived” about her personal experience and journey as her husband’s caregiver for six years as he suffered from Lewy body dementia and Parkinson’s disease. He died in July 2018.

On Aug. 17, Monroe will host an author event at Barnes & Noble in Boynton Beach that will feature a book signing and question-and-answer session. Her book is currently available on Barnes & Noble online and also on Amazon.

“I wanted to help other caregivers. Many times, I felt so lost. There are some humorous moments and lots of good people who did help us and brought joy to our lives,” she said.

“From personal experience, I jumped through many hoops; by luck, instinct and perseverance, I survived, and I share my personal story with my readers to give them hope and help.”

Monroe also wrote the book as a way for her to move forward, noting that many times, caregivers can’t move on, she said.

“You have to try to keep moving forward. Our loved ones in heaven are happy and do not want us to suffer.”

The 69-page, 10-chapter book is Monroe’s first nonfiction book and each chapter highlights a topic that was important to her while going through this journey, she said.

Some of the topics include the day your life changes forever; early signs to look for; when she couldn’t leave her husband alone anymore; the new normal; and taboo topics such as having a relationship while your loved one is in a nursing home.

Additionally, after each chapter, there is an invitation for the reader to journal after what they just read, reflect and write down an attainable goal, she said.

“They [people who read the book] will have a feeling of you are not in this alone. It’s that extreme feeling of loneliness and that can get into lot of negative self-talk — why me? Why is this happening to me? The book is something easy to adapt into your life to give you hope and help; it’s a short book,” she said.

Monroe, who lives in Lake Worth and is an English teacher at Park Vista Community High School, said she hopes people who read her book understand that they are not alone and there is hope, she said.

“There’s hope for you and a future, and you will be a better person by going through this experience. I feel by caring for somebody it develops your character and gets you out of your own selfishness. The journey is not easy, but it will make you a better person of deeper character,” she said.

Marcie Monroe, 30, Mary’s daughter, was living in Tallahassee during the time her father got sick and she decided to move back in with her parents to help her mother take care of him, she said.

“It was just a stressful situation. He had his good and bad days. There were days we were extremely stressed out but my mom and I had each other. It definitely was not easy,” Marcie Monroe.

Mary Monroe, who has written a trilogy of books for teens, wants to be a keynote speaker at regional and national events for caregivers of loved ones with dementia in the coming months, she said.

The author event will begin at 2 p.m. at the Barnes & Noble in Boynton Beach, 333 N. Congress Ave.