Family trip turns into a cat roundup

Dear Amy: My partner and I recently traveled abroad with her family.

We spent six days with her mother, father, brother and sister-in-law.

We stayed in vacation rental homes, where each couple had their own room.

During our time abroad, it became apparent to both of us that her family’s dynamics stifled our experience. Her mother and brother bickered for much of the time. In addition, her brother, who was very far removed from his comfort zone, complained endlessly about all sorts of things beyond anyone’s control.

My partner’s mother would constantly worry if we wanted to do anything on our own, and feared for our safety.

In an effort to respect her wishes, we stayed together as a group, but trying to get everyone to do the same thing in a given day was like herding bored house cats.

My partner and I both decided that we do not wish to have any future experiences like this previous one.

The problem is that her family seems intent on planning more vacations together, including one in six months!

We don’t want to be rude or hurtful to her family members, nor do we intend to lie about our reasons for opting out of future family travel. — Travel Bugged

Dear Bugged: After outlining the many (valid) reasons why you don’t want to travel with this group, you then ask how to travel with this group. Are you sure you want to? You are both adults. You have free will. Until you learn to deliver a respectful, “We’re going to travel on our own this year,” you will be thoroughly dominated.

But if you really do want to travel with them, you should develop an itinerary for yourselves each day and invite them to join you, or not.