Lost love resurfaces as soul mate

Dear Amy: At the age of 21, I was in love with “Steve.” We planned a life together, but broke up.

We’d see each other every two or three years at gatherings with mutual friends. I did eventually get over him and we both partnered with other people.

I’ve been with “Brad” for almost 12 years. I’ve helped to raise his daughter and we are close, even though Brad and I moved 2,000 miles away.

During one trip home, I met up with Steve and his wife one day for lunch.

A few days later, Steve told me he has more fun memories with me than with his wife. I feel the same way. We decided to talk/text more often.

After three weeks of talking and texting just about every night, he confessed he never stopped loving me and wanted to kiss me the day we met for lunch.

I told him I felt the same. I asked why he didn’t break up with his wife and come back to me. We decided that we want to get back together.

Steve’s wife has no idea that he wants to leave her, but Brad knows about it and he is OK with whatever the outcome is.

Brad and I have been in a rut, but still love each other. I want to be with Steve and know he’s my soul mate, but feel bad leaving Brad. — Lost

Dear Lost: You and “Brad” are not married. You say you have been honest with him about the rekindling of your attachment to “Steve.” I’m not sure why Brad doesn’t feel betrayed by you, but according to you he is willing to release you from the relationship.

You are consciously and deliberately interfering in someone else’s marriage, and that is unethical. The ethical course is for you to state your truth, and then to tell Steve: “Get in touch with me after you have exited your marriage, and we’ll take it from there.”