Dad’s drinking leads to daughter’s escape A question shrinkage of

Dear Amy: When my daughter was three, I divorced her father — in part due to his violent temper.

Now at 13 years old, she, too, is afraid of her father’s temper, particularly when he is drinking alcohol.

She just revealed to me that on several occasions during her visitation with him she has asked a friend’s parents to pick her up and sleep over at their house out of fear of her father.

Apparently, when drinking he has violent arguments with his girlfriend over the phone, and this scares her.

I have instructed her that she is to contact me immediately to remove her from the situation. She is afraid that contacting me will only escalate the situation and he will turn his fury toward her.

Short of discontinuing visitation, I am at a loss as to how to proceed. — Concerned Mother

Dear Concerned: Your daughter is to be commended. She has found a smart strategy for getting out of the household when she is afraid. Smart girl!

You should communicate with her friend’s parents to thank them and to gain some insight into these rescue missions.

Yes, your daughter should contact you, but if she is too afraid to do so while she is in the house, she should do so after she has left.

Of course your daughter wants to see her father. But she wants to see him sober, and in a safe and stable household. I don’t believe the burden should be placed on her to communicate with her father about how terrifying he is.

Connecting with other teens who love alcohol-addicted parents would be extremely helpful. And you should talk to her about the possibility of going back to court to revisit the visitation arrangement. Courtmandated sobriety (if possible) while he has visitation might be a wake-up call for him.

Dear Dr. Roach: I’m an 81-year-old man. About two years ago, I began to realize that my testicles were shrinking, and they are now about the size of a marble. I have asked my primary care doctor and urologist about this, and the reply is that nothing can be done about it.

I have ED. My last testosterone result was about 500. Is there nothing that can be done? — L.D.

The medical term for what’s happening to you is “testicular atrophy,” and it has several possible causes. Age alone is one. I am a little surprised by the severity of your description.

Among the other common causes are a history of trauma or infection. However, any underlying cause can also affect the ability of the testicles to make testosterone. Your blood testosterone level is surprisingly normal for your age. A low testosterone is a common cause of erectile dysfunction.

After two years, it is very unlikely that any treatments will affect the testicles now.

Dear Dr. Roach: I’m am a 91-year-male who makes frequent visits to the bathroom. I am in good health and wonder what causes this. Where does all that liquid come from? — A.R.N.

What goes in must come out. All the liquid you urinate came from fluid you consumed when drinking and eating food.

But it may be more about perception than volume. Frequent urination is extremely common in both men and women, and although some causes are the same, men have an additional anatomical structure that can lead to urinary problems: the prostate. It is through the prostate that the urethra, and thus all the urine, has to flow. If the prostate is enlarged, the urinary flow slows down.

Treatment needs to be directed at the underlying cause. Overactive bladder and enlarged prostate have similar symptoms and different treatments.