Child wants to give back to parents

Dear Amy: My parents are the best. Picture the mom who sends impromptu “thinking of you” cards and care packages, and the dad who checks your oil. They have always supported me emotionally, mentally and even financially when I was in college. I live every day full of gratitude for their love and the life they were able to give my brother and me.

Even though I am now in my 30s, married, have an awesome career, they are still trying to take care of me. When we go out to eat, they still try to pay the bill. This normally ends in a battle to get the check at the end of the meal.

In a few weeks we will be temporarily moving in with my parents for three to six months so we can shop/ build a home closer to them, due to my dad’s declining health.

I have brought up the subject of paying rent or taking over the groceries and utilities, but they won’t hear of it!

Amy, how do I get my parents to realize that they raised a daughter who is responsible, successful and is entirely capable of not only taking care of herself but able to show my appreciation for them in return? — Daughter in a Dilemma

Dear Daughter: Your folks may never be able to accept money from you, but you should do your very best to be of service to them while you are living in their home. For instance, if your mother insists on doing all of the cooking, you and your husband should do all of the clean-up. You should see if you can take on some of the driving and errand-running. If your mother gives you a list, you might be able to actually pay for something.

You and your husband should also make sure you have a set schedule when you will not be home, so your folks can retreat to their own routines.