Friend’s partner too elusive is

Dear Amy: My husband and I have a very dear friend, “Mike.” About a year ago, Mike started dating “Ardele,” who seems lovely. They go on lots of fun trips together and seem to be getting serious. They recently visited Ardele’s hometown and Mike met her whole family.

However, even though we see Mike a few times a month, we have only met Ardele three times. Nearly every time we have a plan to meet up with them, she drops out at the last second without explanation.

We’ve never asked any questions. Maybe having more separate social lives works for them. I’ve also considered that she might have social anxiety, migraines or some other medical condition that flares up suddenly.

Then yesterday, Mike ran our city’s marathon. He has been training for almost a year. When we saw him at the finish line, I expected to see Ardele, but she wasn’t there. She also skipped the celebration later that night.

I’m getting kind of upset now. At what point am I allowed to worry about Mike? He shows up for his friends. It just makes me so sad to think that his partner does not make him a priority. — Wondering Friend

Dear Wondering: You do not need anyone’s permission to worry about your friend. However, you don’t report that he seems unhappy. If he is having the kind of relationship he wants to have, regardless of whether it meets your standards, then there is nothing to worry about.

Assuming the best and minding your own business is definitely the path of least resistance. But friends also get to be honest with each other, even if that honesty creates a difficult or awkward moment.

I give Mike credit for carrying on with his own plans and choosing to go solo.