Spouse ends up repaying debt

Dear Amy: For three years before my husband left me, he was self-employed. He struggled so much with his self-worth that I was afraid to anger him. He was hiding his lack of income from me and hiding unpaid bills. He drained a large inheritance, savings and retirement accounts. I was also unaware that he was racking up credit card bills buying bitcoin for online gambling and for renting and furnishing a secret apartment. (I was unaware of his affair until after the divorce.)

During this time my parents loaned us over $25,000. Some of this money was for our household, but most of it was for his failing business and his secret life. My divorce lawyer insisted on not pushing my husband on these repayments because he was severely depressed, and she feared he “would snap.” The loans became my responsibility. My parents have mentioned that maybe it is my former in-laws’ responsibility to pay for their son’s bills. Asking for help would require divulging information about their son that his folks know nothing about. Your thoughts? — Stupid Blind Trust

Dear Blind Trust: I’m not a lawyer and can’t speak to your lawyer’s advice, or answer the important question of why or how repaying this money became your responsibility in the divorce. I gather that this matter was somehow mediated or adjudicated through the courts and agreed upon.

If your folks want to try to pressure your ex’s parents to repay this money, it’s up to them, but why should these parents be responsible for their son’s debts?

Your family system seems to have enabled your former husband. Keeping the reality of his problems a secret seems to further enable him

You should continue to comply regarding your own legal responsibilities.