Non-drinker brings out ‘sober curious’

Dear Amy: I decided to permanently forgo drinking. I was a very light social drinker to begin with, and I did not expect any issues to arise from my choice.

When I go out and order my water, it turns into an inquisition. For new people I meet, a simple, “I don’t drink” suffices. I find that people I have met before complete their inquiry with guilt trips and occasional inappropriate questions as to whether I am in recovery or pregnant.

In the past I have tried making excuses, but the pressure has been grating on my nerves, so for future gatherings I transitioned into a more definitive, “I am not drinking/I chose to stop drinking” declaration, which then makes the meal, conversation, or other gathering awkward.

You may agree with me that this seems like an overblown reaction to what liquids I am ingesting.

What is a script you can recommend that is polite yet shuts down any further inquiry, does not act as an excuse and does not appear as if I am taking some moral high ground? Also, are there any considerations I can make beforehand that would put others at ease? — Living Sober

Dear Sober: Congratulations! In addition to living healthfully, you are also walking on the cutting edge of the newest trend of people adopting a lifestyle sometimes referred to as “sober curious.”

More bars and restaurants are offering a variety of “mocktails,” where you can order a non-alcoholic drink that looks, tastes and overall seems more like a traditional cocktail.

Generally, if you don’t want to discuss something you consider personal, then don’t offer up any details, excuses or explanations. If people ask, you can say, “I don’t drink alcohol.” If they ask why, you can say, “I don’t like it.”