Couple faces a city problem big

Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years. We have talked about marriage. I believe that we will be married soon.

I will graduate from medical school this year. It was always my plan to live in a small town or very small city closer to beautiful nature. I despise life in the big city.

My boyfriend doesn’t want to live in a small town. His career relies on him living in a city. He loves city life.

This is the biggest of several differences between us.

I’m ready to give up my dreams to be with him, and even though I love him deeply, I think I’ll be miserable.

Will this doom us? What can we do? — Desperate

Dear Desperate: A doomed relationship could be your liberation.

According to the Association of American Medical Colleges, the United States is projected to have a shortfall of up to 121,300 physicians by 2030, owing to older doctors retiring, and the increased needs of a rising number of elders requiring more doctors.

The physician shortage is most acute in rural areas. In small towns and small cities, your ability to provide health care will quite literally be a lifesaver. You will get to know your patients and their families.

Over a decade ago, I left the big city and moved back to my rural hometown. Unlike you, I enjoyed life in the city. Life in the country, and being around others who also embrace this lifestyle, is a daily tonic.

Marrying someone you love while believing that you will be miserable is not a healthy choice. You’ve already been together seven years. Marriage will not magically transform your personal preferences. Perhaps you two could agree to a year of long-distance, where you each live where you want to live. You could also research cities with outdoorsy reputations that might give you each the lifestyle you want.