Gay ex-player says he was the target of slurs with Canes
CORAL GABLES — A gay former Miami Hurricanes football player says he was the target of homophobic slurs during his playing days and the team lacked an inclusive, accepting environment during that time.
Among what TJ Callan, a former walk-on running back at UM, said he experienced in a story published by SB Nation’s Outsports on Wednesday: A teammate relating gay marriage to bestiality, being called an “undercover f——-” on the team and once having a teammate pull his hand back when offering a high-five to then say, “I’m never going to shake hands with a n——- who sucks other n——-s’ d—-s.”
Callan does not give names of any players or coaches who he says promoted an antigay environment in the Hurricanes locker room while he played. He told the South Florida Sun Sentinel his objective in telling his story was not to get anyone in trouble or paint a negative picture of Miami’s football program, but rather to inspire change, so the next gay athlete doesn’t have to go through what he experienced.
“It was honestly just to bring awareness and hope for cultural change,” said Callan, who left the team in the middle of the 2018 season and graduated from UM last May. “I don’t want people to go through that. That’s why I didn’t mention any names. That’s why I didn’t do any of that. I just wanted to share.
“I’m not mad at them. I forgive them. I just want them to learn. If they learn, knowledge is power, and knowledge is going to help the next person. Me saying their names, me just calling them out, it’s just going to be negative because they’re just going to see me getting them in trouble, them losing jobs, them losing all these friends. That’s not what I want to do. I want them to stay happy. I want them to keep their jobs. I just want them to want to change.”
When asked for comment, a UM spokesperson provided the same statement given to Outsports: “The University of Miami is committed to cultivating a diverse and inclusive campus community, to building a culture of belonging where all members of the University community feel valued and can add value, and to fostering an environment that embraces diversity in all its dimensions.”
Callan said he was inspired by seeing gay athletes come out in other sports, “but in super-hyper-masculine sports,” he said, “I didn’t see a lot of that. I was like, ‘Maybe I should be the voice for that.’”
Callan thought about telling his story earlier but said he wanted to wait until after he graduated.
“I was always entertaining the idea, but I didn’t want to when I was still in the institution, and I didn’t want to rattle anything up,” he said. “But then, through experiencing things and realizing, damn, I was sitting there lonely as hell, like I didn’t know who to talk to, I
was like, ‘Why don’t I just be that voice?’
“I would’ve felt so much better if I saw somebody going through the same thing as me, somebody that looked like me, somebody that was doing what I was doing.”
In the Outsports story, Callan said he thought he was close to being able to come out to a Miami staffer he had developed a bond with before his final season on the team. In a conversation centered around the movie “Moonlight,” a film set in Miami about a young black gay man struggling to find his way, he realized quite the opposite.
“I’ve seen it, and I was disappointed with it,” Callan told Outsports he remembers the staffer said.
“It’s sad to see where the world has come to with this whole homosexuality thing. … I’m never going to say someone is gay. I’m going to say someone is ‘struggling with their sexuality.’ They aren’t gay. They are just letting the devil win.”
Callan recalls whispers of one of the team trainers perceived as being more effeminate by players and teammates would say, “I’m not going to bend over near him because he’s going to try to f—- me in the a—.”
He said in the story that one graduate assistant asked him if he “liked titties,” and when he once tossed a ball badly to a coach at practice, the coach said, “You know I’ve heard things about you, and now I’m starting to think they’re
true.”
First joining the Hurricanes in 2015, Callan had the last season of the Al Golden era in Miami and then mostly had Mark Richt as head coach. Callan only had positive things to say about Richt in the Outsports story and to the Sun Sentinel, said he never said anything antigay and feels Richt may not have been aware of what he experienced.
“Whenever I was around, he was nice to me,” Callan said. “Sometimes, I’d be feeling down and I’d walk to his office and he’d be doing something and he’d stop what he was doing, see what was up, try to get to know me. I have really good memories of him.”
Callan said he experienced a more accepting environment
in high school at Doral’s Ronald Reagan High. He felt the switch later on may have had to do with him being a captain in high school and growing up with his teammates, whereas he was a walk-on at UM surrounded by scholarship-caliber college players who maybe didn’t respect him the same way.
Before Callan left the team, he said he was able to come out to two teammates he was closest with.
“They were very receptive to it,” he said. “They were very cool about it.”
Callan added he believes similar types of environments are around in other college football locker rooms. He hopes his message can help better create greater acceptance.