Mom doesn’t like gifts from ‘other’

Dear Amy: I am recently divorced. My ex-husband and I share custody of our 8-year-old daughter.

My ex was cultivating a “friendship” with “Cindy,” the wife of our workout trainer. At the time, he and I were still intimate sometimes.

Cindy was seeing him regularly. She furnished his new apartment and bought him a new wardrobe.

One day he told me he had made out with Cindy, and that he was afraid that he might end up having sex with her. I asked if Cindy’s husband knew, and my ex said no.

I was really upset. I didn’t want her husband to get cheated on, and so I told him. I wasn’t very tactful. Cindy told him that she was just a friend, and that I am blaming her for our divorce. Her husband decided to give everyone the “benefit of the doubt.”

Recently, Cindy has been offering to babysit our daughter. She has also taken to buying gifts for her.

I can’t fathom why Cindy is doing this, other than to overcompensate for her behavior.

How should I handle this? — Unsweetened Momma

Dear Momma: This episode might be teaching you some lessons about divorce: You should not sleep with your ex while you are in the process of “working out the details.”

You seem to know “Cindy” quite well. You tried to derail the relationship by reporting it to her husband.

It rankles to see another woman grow close to your child. But — if these interactions are positive and benign — then you will have to learn to tolerate them.

Do not discourage your daughter from developing a friendship with Cindy. The last thing you want to do is to encourage her to keep her experiences while with her father a secret.