Girlfriend wants to swing alone

Dear Amy: I recently broke up with my girlfriend, but now she wants me back.

I saw her dozens of times in the wee hours of the morning tapping on her phone and then hiding the phone.

I didn’t do anything until someone in her inner circle came to me and said that I was “a fool to trust her, she has had a guy on the side the whole time, and that she wanted to break up with me but was afraid I would commit suicide.”

I did check myself into a mental unit for depression.

I am crushed that she betrayed my trust. She admitted she told others about my hospitalization but claimed the rest is simply not true and that her hiding of the phone was because of an “addiction to learning about the swinging lifestyle.”

She is very unabashed sexually, and is also much younger than I.

She claims that she has since deleted her online accounts that she uses to access the swingers’ clubs and online swingers blogs.

She texts me every day, tells me she loves me, and says she wants me to trust her.

I want to trust her, but have a feeling that I can’t.

What should I do? — My Gut Says No

Dear Gut: Trust is a choice, and sometimes choosing to trust involves a very deliberate quieting of those emergent self-protective voices, while remaining vigilant.

However, in your case, I am strongly urging you to go with your gut. Your first responsibility is to your mental health.

You should very deliberately avoid any triggers that might affect your mental health at this point, and the uncertainty presented by this relationship would be at the top of the list.

Talk this through with a therapist, and continue to take good care of yourself. voluntarily health

I