COVID transforms guest to housemate

Dear Amy: Three months ago, my husband and I took in a friend of our daughter’s, who quite suddenly lost her housing and whose college switched to all online classes, due to COVID-19.

We have been hosting her without asking for any kind of payment. All we’ve requested is that she cook one night a week.

When she came to live with us, her parents (who live overseas) called to thank us. They said they would be in touch weekly. Aside from that phone call we have not heard one word from them.

She is still living with us — and we just learned that she plans to stay another two months.

I’ve discussed with my husband the idea of asking her parents to make a financial contribution to our household.

Prior to COVID-19, her parents were paying her tuition and for at least some of her living costs.

Three months in, I’m feeling taken advantage of by the parents. — Taken Advantage Of

Dear Taken: This situation has taken up a tidy space in the void you yourselves have created, by refusing to communicate.

Do you want her to leave the household? Then say so.

Would you feel better if you agreed to let her stay, and she paid you $50/week?

Maybe after considering all of your options, you would decide to let her stay, but if you do, then you should do so with open intentions.

My point is that you are basically accusing this young person of taking advantage of you, but she is young, she cannot read your minds, and because you are too afraid to have a conversation, you and your husband are now squabbling in the broom closet. If her parents are really in charge of her situation, then you should call them and review how you envision her current options.