Stressed wife might need a ‘she shed’

Dear Amy: I have known my husband for almost 40 years. We’ve been married for 30 years.

I am trying to become healthier in body and mind. I practice yoga, and I am evolving and growing.

My husband chooses to do nothing to take care of his body.

He just retired due to health issues (and his age). I’ve just retired, also.

He doesn’t even get out of the house very often.

We live on a large property, and even though he uses a cane, he could still at least go out to his garage.

I have literally begged him to give me my space.

I am now battling depression and anxiety.

I have suggested counseling, and I attend therapy sessions on my own a few times a year, but he wants nothing to do with that.

Help! — Loving Mother and Wife

Dear Loving Mother: You deserve fixing, and of the two of you, you are the one most likely to receive it and benefit from it because you are motivated to change.

Contact the counselor and immediately set up a virtual appointment. I hope you understand that many people are struggling right now, and while this retirement phase might have been challenging in normal times, right now you are likely being denied some of the important connections that would be helpful.

You should try to establish a daytime routine similar to the one you had while working. If you can’t have privacy inside your home, you should head to the porch, the garage, or set up your own space where you can keep “office hours,” and work on your yoga, meditation, reading, painting, gardening or whatever. Look for “she sheds” to see if you might be able to create an actual retreat space. Make sure you talk to at least one friend or family member each day.