Working from home reveals habits

Dear Amy: Working at home during the pandemic has given me a glimpse into how my wife conducts business.

She is often rude to her customers and co-workers, with a particularly annoying habit of loudly talking over them to try and gain the verbal upper hand. She also frequently battles with her boss.

I’ve tried to offer suggestions but am waved off.

The company she works for is small, poorly run, and the level of professionalism is generally low.

I’m at a loss about how to handle this.

Should I mouth shut?

She’s probably a year away from retirement and I doubt she’s going to change. — Jaw Dropped in Denver

Dear Jaw Dropped: I’m assuming that your wife’s behavior also surfaces during your domestic life. Is she rude to wait staff at restaurants, prickly toward medical personnel, or impatient and imperious when negotiating home repairs with service workers?

Perhaps you assumed that she would behave differently when at work.

It reminds me that most of us show our best, most restrained and polite behavior at work, and then come home and growl at our families.

I agree with your perceptive assessment that your wife’s rude and unprofessional behavior is actually causing her to feel more frustrated and angry. That is because she is not actually “winning” at work. She cannot close out her work days with the memory of successful interactions and positive feedback. Instead she carries with her the vestiges of conflict.

She might agree to putting a mirror at her workstation, or having you videotape a typical call. Do so without comment. Watching her own face and body language, and hearing her rudeness might inspire her to behave differently. just keep my