Survivor doesn’t want to talk about it Medication also can prevent influenza
Dear Amy: I was raised in a very dysfunctional family. My mother had psychological issues, my brother sexually molested me as a child and my father had frequent outbursts of extreme rage.
My mother has been dead for 15 years. I ceased all interaction with my brother then. I continued trying to maintain a relationship with my father for 10 years, but his abuse escalated until five years ago when he physically assaulted me.
I finally decided to that relationship, too. had counseling for this.
I never know how to respond when people ask about my family. People who know me well, don’t bring up the subject. A couple of people keep prying for details or tell me that I need to forgive and make up.
I don’t want to discuss this, but I also don’t want to lie and declare that my family is dead.
Saying that we are estranged nearly always results in some sort of lecture, judgment or inquisition.
Any suggestions? — Happily Orphaned in Austin
Dear Orphaned: Estrangement is one thing, but I would call your dynamic “escape and survival.” Given your childhood, survival is a triumph.
When you first meet people, you could answer queries by saying, “I grew up in a little town outside of Lubbock. I had a very rough childhood and I’m not in touch with my family.”
Some people might press further out of curiosity. You can then say, “That’s all I really have to say about it. But what about you?”
Sidestepping in this way lets people feel validated and also sends the message that childhood is not up for discussion.
Nobody gets to define “family” for you. As I hope you have discovered, your family of choice is made up of the people who see your frailty, understand your challenges and accept you just as you are. end I’ve
Dear Dr. Roach: I was prescribed amantadine to offset the side effects of psychiatric medications. I also have always been predisposed to serious flu complications. Amantadine not only helped with side effects, but I very seldom got the flu.
Then my doctor thought it best that I end the amantadine. I ended the medication some six months ago, and after the first month, I once again was experiencing multiple occurrences of respiratory problems. Flu, bronchitis, pneumonia, etc., have reappeared. — R.L.O.
Amantadine was approved by the Food and Drug Administration in 1968 as a preventive and treatment for the Asian influenza pandemics of the time. It works by blocking a viral protein specific for influenza and wouldn’t be expected to be effective against other respiratory viruses.
In 1969, a woman taking it for influenza noted dramatic improvement in her Parkinson’s disease symptoms, which worsened again once she stopped it. So the drug was tested for use in Parkinson’s disease. After studies showed success, it was approved by the FDA for Parkinson’s.
Some psychiatric medications can cause Parkinson-like side effects, and amantadine is used to combat those side effects if the psychiatric medicines cannot be changed.
Because the action of amantadine is so specific against flu, taking it wouldn’t have an effect on bronchitis or pneumonia outside those triggered by seasonal influenza. Amantadine is not as effective as vaccination at preventing flu, so continue getting the flu shot.
Schedule a visit with a psychiatrist, who generally has more experience treating side effects of psychiatric drugs than primary care doctors. You may still need amantadine or something else to help with those side effects. Benztropine is the usual medication used now.