New parents must set firm boundaries

Dear Amy: Late last year my husband and I had our first child, a son. We let people know that only immediate family members would be allowed to visit us in the hospital the first day the baby was born.

My husband’s family reacted with hostility, especially from my brother-inlaw and his girlfriend. They decided to call us three days prior to me going in for my C-section and berate us.

Additionally, they were quite offended that we were only “giving them” a few hours with the baby.

They decided to tell us that we were wrong for setting boundaries.

For the past nine months, that is exactly what they have done. We have attempted several times to invite them to meet their nephew, but they refused — claiming we were negative.

Meanwhile, I went through a traumatic labor and delivery that caused me to suffer from postpartum depression, and PTSD.

It has been very difficult trying to understand this irrational behavior and deal with my mental health.

If everyone just prefers to “keep the peace” instead of speaking out about this immature behavior, how can our little family possibly have a relationship with my in-laws? — Very Hurt and Shocked

Dear Hurt: My advice for you is to stop. Stop playing this game. Stop trying to engage with two people who obviously want to punish you. Stop expecting other family members to defend you.

If your brother-in-law and his partner don’t want to be a part of your child’s life, then you have to respect their choice. You might even be grateful for it, because these people sound very unsupportive.

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