Toddler-tornado is a messy guest

Dear Amy: My wife and I recently bought a house and we have decided on a few rules to keep the place as clean as possible.

I invited my sister and her three kids to stay with us for the next two weeks, and while we already explained the house rules several times, the youngest child (he’s 3), always manages to create a mess. I don’t blame him , but my wife gets really irritated and takes it out on me.

I offered to clean the mess. But every time this occurs, we have an argument.

I think my wife feels she’s making all the sacrifices for me and my family. When we visit her family, I always try to be open and understanding.

Today my wife snapped in front of the kids.

At first, she was so excited about this visit, but today she told me that the next time I have someone over, she will go to visit her family.

This is hurtful to me. — Good Husband

Dear Husband: Threeyear-olds are human tornadoes. I’m assuming that you don’t have children (yet), but experienced parents who are hosting children anticipate a period of upheaval and do their best to keep up, while understanding that where toddlers go messes happen.

You and your sister should start to clean up.

At the end of every (long) day, before the kids go to bed, you should lead them around the house for a clean sweep. Set a timer, make a game of it, and lead them on a little inspection parade when you’re done, so everyone can see you’ve worked as a team.

You should encourage your wife to get enough alone time away from the household, if that will help with her stress, but she should also work harder to be more tolerant. If she truly believed that you were stepping up, she might be able to step back.