Man hopes Tinder will ignite a spark

Dear Amy: I’m 25-year-old gay man.

Recently, a Tinder match and I hit it off pretty quickly. We decided to meet.

He was fantastic: Handsome, kind, funny, successful, my own age, and local. He wasn’t afraid to talk about wanting to have a family someday, which is important to me.

I usually only go out with someone from Tinder once or twice before one of us decides it won’t work, but this match and I went out five times within a month.

After the last time we went out, though, he told me he thought we were looking for different things, and he didn’t think we were a match.

Now I can’t seem to shake the thought of him.

Unwanted messages would only push him further away, but I want so badly to ask for another chance. What’s the etiquette around that? — Inexperienced

Dear Inexperienced: First, let’s add COVID to the list of things a person should be tested for when choosing to meet and date a new person.

Your dating experience is extremely common, and the answer is for you to glean whatever lessons you can, and then move on.

It is possible that you did everything right and your date was being completely honest with you regarding his choice to part. It is also possible that he continued to match with other people while you two were seeing each other and he simply met a new person that he preferred over you.

There is no etiquette surrounding asking someone for a second chance, partly because you really should not do it. If you continue to feel this way after several months, then you could get in touch to check in and see how he is doing (don’t ask outright for a second chance). Based on his response, you would know if the dynamic had shifted.

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