Debt creates an awkward dilemma

Dear Amy: My partner “Charles” and I were happily together for eight years.

I decided to leave our home and move with my daughter to another city for her work. The last few years of our relationship were long distance.

When he had a sudden heart attack and died, I was filled with grief and guilt.

After his death, I had to go collect my belongings from his place. While at the house, his parents volunteered that they felt his debts had died with him. I had loaned him $5,000 for his property tax.

They sold his home for an impressive sum last year, but never offered to pay back the money.

I’m not wealthy. I am working hard and trying to stay afloat. I don’t want to sadden his parents or to come off as greedy. — Struggling

Dear Struggling: “Charles”’ parents might declare that his debts died with him, but in reality, you have the right to collect the money owed to you. Please get these more informal arrangements written down, signed by both parties, and dated!

You already have a solid rationale for wanting to have this debt repaid, but your late boyfriend has supplied the inspiration.

You should write to his parents. Share a memory. Because it is difficult to bring up the debt, address the challenge directly: “I realize this is very awkward. I hope you will understand. I know you are aware of the money I loaned to Charles to pay his taxes. For me, this represents a substantial sum, and I did not hesitate to make the loan. He agreed to repay the loan and I know you are aware of his intent. Charles had a high degree of fairness and he always encouraged me to advocate for myself, and so I am doing so now. I would very much appreciate you settling this debt from the proceeds of his estate.”