Woman wonders, why ‘hit’ on her

Dear Amy: I am a middleaged, happily married woman with a wonderful husband. We have a relationship that others spend their lives trying to find.

I amnot social. Ineverwearmakeup. Iam a jeans and T-shirt type of woman. Also, I’m a bit overweight.

Given all of that, why do men continually try to hit on meand chatmeup?

I grew up with two older brothers and have a history of having platonic male friends.

I talk aboutmywonderful life and relationship withmy husband, and it doesn’t seem to stop these men from hitting on me.

What am I doing wrong? — Sick of Being HitUpon

Dear Sick: You are not doing anything wrong. Your crime is to attempt to move through the world, minding your business.

Women who are “girly” and wear makeup and feminine clothing arenot asking to be hit on. Women who wear jeans andT-shirts are also not asking to be hit on. Women jogging, riding bicycles, walkingdogs or talking with friends are not asking to be hit on.

I have a caveat, however. I grew up in chillyNewEngland where people tend not to speak to people they don’t already know. But I spend part of each year in New Orleans, a city where people are so outgoing and gosh-darned friendly that it is almost off-putting. And yes, oftentimes strange men will call out and comment about hair, clothing, or urgeme to “smile more,” rudely intruding into my comfort zone. But occasionally they are also only saying, “Hello!” It can be hard to decode the difference.

In my view, you should never get far enough in conversation with a strange man towax on about your wonderful husband. Men who hit on random women are pulling a power play: they don’t care if you are married.