Scheduling snafu leads to silence
Dear Amy: I recently reached out to a former manager/mentor to schedule some time to catch up.
The night before the scheduled call, I was invited to participate in a golf outing, so I texted her to see if we could reschedule.
She responded right away that it was no problem, and that she was excited for me.
We traded messages looking for times to reschedule, and then suddenly I stopped getting any response.
That was eight weeks ago. I’ve reached out via text and LinkedIn since then, but still nothing.
I respect this person very much. Our relationship was always professional, but I would consider her a friend.
I’m also slightly concerned that something may have happened with her or her family. — Ghosted & Concerned
Dear Concerned: You initiated this catch-up session, and then you postponed it. There is nothing at all wrong with doing that, but I do think it affects the dynamic between two people when it comes to rescheduling.
It sounds as if you went back and forth a few times regarding a new date, so it’s possible that your former mentor said to herself, “I didn’t initiate this in the first place, and now it has taken on a life of its own. I’m going to take a breather.”
At this point, you might assume that if something serious had happened to her, you would have found out about it, if not through her, then through social media. If something has happened to a family member and you haven’t been notified, then you are not close enough to her to have been told about it.
People get busy. Things come up.
I think you should let things lie for now. Send her a Christmas card this year, saying: “So sorry for our scheduling snafu back in the fall! I look forward to catching up in 2021.”