Brother writes unsettling funeral home dispatches

Dear Amy: I have a brother who is fighting lymphoma and stage 4 liver cancer. It is too late for surgery, so they are treating him as an outpatient. The outlook is not great.

My twin brother was hired to work at a funeral home.

He sends emails to me and our brother almost daily regarding funeral home duties.

These emails are extremely detailed accounts of prepping bodies, transporting bodies, preparing for funerals, placing the heavy casket over the grave on slings and straps, and then waiting for the family to leave so they can lower the casket down.

These details upset me, but I am more concerned about my older brother and how this affects him.

My husband says to stay out of it, and not get involved.

Do you have thoughts about what I might say? — Grieving

Dear Grieving: Making fun of the sacred work of preparing a body for burial is extremely insensitive.

Every single body passing through this funeral home was a loved one, friend or family member of someone who has paid the funeral home. The deceased and their family members should be respected.

Your twin brother requires sensitivity training.

These emails are addressed to you and so I’d say that you are already in it.

These notifications upset you, and so you have the right to tell your brother the truth about how they affect you.

I suggest that you send an email: “I am happy for you that you love your job. However, I find the detailed discussions very unsettling. I don’t know how our brother feels about these descriptions, but in my sisterly opinion, I do wish you would be more sensitive.”