Taking mom on trip might be real adventure

Dear Amy: I’m very active. I started an annual tradition with my daughter to take her on mommy-daughter adventures for her birthday.

We’ve done this for six years and it’s incredibly special.

This year I decided to splurge on a Maui trip.

The complication is that my mom invited herself along. She’s overbearing and can be unpleasant to be around, but I know she’s feeling lonely since losing her husband. She is not adventurous, nor in good physical health. Walking a mile would be difficult for her.

I told her I was planning things she might not be able to do. She said that was fine.

I said I could take care of the lodging, but she would need to buy her own plane ticket.

She yelled at me that she, “needs a pool, so we have to stay at a hotel.”

I found a condo that was right on the beach. She got angry and yelled at me that maybe she shouldn’t go.

I am tempted to tell her to stay home.

What should I do? — Good Mom, Bad Daughter

Dear Daughter: The best way to manage this trip might be to make whatever lodging choice you want to make, offering the safest and most accessible accommodations, and if your mother doesn’t like it, she can choose to stay behind.

It’s possible that she merely wanted to be included in the first place, and that she has been testing you.

There is a likelihood that you and your daughter will have many adventure holidays ahead of you. But the biggest adventure you two might ever take could be the one you face right now: Traveling with your mother. I wonder if you are brave enough to take that on.