Trauma survivor struggles to cope

Dear Amy: I have been reliving a trauma from my childhood on a daily basis. I have been remembering other occurrences of this trauma.

My father is a child molester, and an abusive alcoholic.

This trauma led to trichotillomania, which has gotten worse, despite the fact I have pursued therapy for years. How do I fully move past it? Do I bring it up with my sisters? We aren’t a family to share things.

I would like to move... — From Trauma to Triumph

Dear Triumph: Our experience of dislocation and isolation during the pandemic has brought on issues and if you have stopped pursuing your therapeutic mental health treatment, you will lack supportive ways to cope.

Trichotillomania is a disorder characterized by obsessive and repetitive hair pulling. This can lead to hair loss and bald spots.

This is a form of self-harm. The stress and anxiety is causing you to literally pull your hair out.

My first recommendation is if you are currently in an “off ” mode, you must revive your therapy.

Do you think that what happened to you might have also happened to your sisters?

Understand that if your family always sweeps problems under the rug, your choice to talk about it could be extremely upsetting to others. They might deny, blame, and shame you - not because this trauma is your fault, but because you have chosen to talk about it. This is one of the burdens of being a survivor.

Surviving — even scarred and wounded — is the triumph. You’ve already done that, and you will continue to, as long as you devote yourself to your own recovery.