Long-distance relationship drifts into friend zone

Dear Amy: I got divorced about a year ago after 20 years. I started chatting with a woman who had gone to my high school. We’ve met quite a few times.

We have had a very good time. (I have to drive one hour from my town to hers.)

She warned me she wasn’t looking for a relationship. She’s separated (not divorced) for two years.

I had promised her I would be respectful, but I realized I had fallen for her, and told her.

She replied that she had told me she wasn’t looking for a relationship, and to just stay as we were, but “maybe, after a seed that has been planted — who knows what can grow?”

That was five or six months ago. Things remained the same. If I don’t reach out to her, she will not proactively contact me.

I feel like she’s trying to get out of our relationship, and that her silence is the best answer, so maybe I could talk to her and let her know I will no longer reach out.

My heart tells me to just watch and listen, but to somehow keep the faith.

What do you think I should do? — Lovelorn

Dear Lovelorn: You’ve already done it all. You were honest about your feelings. Your friend was honest about her intentions. She should not have dangled any promise of a future with you, but she did, and you seized upon it.

You might assume your friend is either reuniting with her husband or engaging in other relationships. Don’t contact her again.

I hope you will apply this lesson toward your future.

When you meet the right person, they will find ways to signal that you two are on the same page.