Men wonder why they get ‘Sweetied’

Dear Amy: I am an octogenarian man, in good health.

I try to keep abreast of the news, including the #MeToo movement and the concerns respect owed to women, especially regarding unwelcome nouns of address.

My peers and I are puzzled that so many women in positions of public engagement (waitpersons, receptionists, sales personnel, cashiers, hygienists, nurses, etc.) feel free to belittle us by referring to us as “honey,” “sweetie,” “dearie,” “sweetheart.”

These strangers do not speak to young or middle-aged persons in this way. Why do they feel free to embarrass and devalue seniors?

When one salesclerk asked, “May I have your credit card, sweetie?” I replied my name was “indeed — not ‘Sweetie.’” I didn’t like my own response and am asking you and your readers how best to handle these situations. — Indeed, Not Sweetie

Dear Indeed: I confess to defending this practice as a friendly and benign greeting from women who deal with a high-volume of strangers during their workday.

Then, just last week I got “Sweetied” by a woman younger than I, and …it didn’t seem so friendly, but like a patronizing commentary on my own age and stage in life.

I’m not at all comfortable declaring that this is a deliberately degrading practice. In fact, I assume the intention is to offer a warm greeting.

If the greeting is from a health care worker or a clerk, it would behoove you to offer a gentle correction: “I’d prefer it if you called me ‘John’.”

I think you should acknowledge that it also provides an opportunity. Every time you are “Honey-ed,” say to yourself: “I hope this is the worst I have to deal with today.”