‘Save-the-Date’ doesn’t lead to an invitation

Dear Amy: I met a friend three years ago while beginning graduate school. We both work for the same state agency but in different locations.

The two of us are members of a tight-knit group of 11 grad students who have assisted each other through the experience of attending a master’s program while managing life.

My friend got engaged and stated she was inviting the group, but not necessarily with significant others. Totally understandable.

She had to reschedule her wedding from October to May, due to the pandemic.

I received a Save-the-Date in the mail and let her know I received it and was super excited. The wedding is now one month away, and I never received an invitation.

I’m assuming I won’t be receiving one — given timing.

I don’t want to make things awkward, so I have not asked the others in our group if they received invites, nor have I questioned my friend.

I don’t want to make anyone feel bad. I had purchased a few new dresses and was looking forward to celebrating my friend’s big day with my school family. Now I’m not sure what to do with this? — Confused and Disappointed

Dear Confused: Iamin possession of three save the dates for wedding celebrations that still might not happen.

Please approach this with an understanding attitude.

Contact her to say, “I understand if your plans have changed and your guest list has decreased, but I have a save the date and didn’t receive an invitation, so I’m still unsure of your final plans. Sorry to nudge you but please let me know if I’m still invited. If not, no worries, and I’ll send love to you on the day.”