Gentleman prefers women’s wear

Dear Amy: I’ve been divorced for several years. I have dated a few gals, but nothing serious until recently. A lady friend and I are seeing more of each other, but, in old-fashioned terms, “taking it slow.” Regardless, I’m sure we’ll soon end up being intimate.

For about 20 years, I’ve worn ladies’ underwear, mostly panties and camisoles and, on occasion, bras and nighties.

I’m not a crossdresser in that I don’t wear any outer women’s wear, don’t wear make-up, have never worn heels, or otherwise interested in passing as a female.

I just find lingerie to be more comfortable, a secret thrill, and, quite honestly, fun. My ex-wife knew and, while not thrilled, didn’t have a problem with it, as long as I didn’t wear hers.

I want to be honest with my lady friend, but don’t want to scare her off. Nor do I wish to hide this part of me. What are your thoughts on how I should tell her? — Not Quite Crossing

Dear Crossing: I can completely understand how wearing women’s panties might be more comfortable for you, but I fail to see how wearing a bra could be a matter of comfort. Most women I know can hardly stand wearing them.

This practice is honestly something you just enjoy and find fulfilling. You don’t need any reason other than this to justify your choice.

One of the most intimate things you can do is to talk about your sexuality, sexual preferences, practices and turn-ons before you become sexually involved.

You should not wait to surprise her in the bedroom, but you should disclose this forthrightly and honestly. She may need to think about this and ask questions. I think there is a high likelihood that she will adjust to the idea and accept it, but you should give her advance notice.

Dear Amy: “Cringing Bride” described her mother as being bigoted toward her fiancee, who is from another ethnic group from her. Thank you for bluntly suggesting elopement as one way to cope with this sort of wedding stress. —Eloped, No Regrets

Dear No Regrets: An elopement is one way for a couple to maintain control over their own wedding.