Don’t know much about history

President Trump has the same problem many 12-year-olds have. He doesn’t know history.

You surely have heard Trump president said something to the effect that Andrew Jackson was really angry about the Civil War. Unfortunately, Old Hickory died 16 years before the Civil War began Maybe Trump was just misunderstood.

Our adored president also said Jackson would have done something to stop the Civil War. I guess, in Trump’s mind, Andrew Jackson was a better president than Abraham Lincoln. Earlier, he indicated that antislavery leader Frederick Douglass was still doing good work. I’m sure that would be true, except that Douglass died in 1895.

Hey, when Trump was campaigning he said he liked lesseducated people. I can understand why.

Anyway, because Trump really loves Florida and taxpayer-paid golf trips to Mar-a-Lago, I have come up with a Florida history test just for him.

This is a difficult test. I barely passed, and I came up with the questions.

Q: Who was Marjory Stoneman Douglas?

a.) The only person in the Trump administration not playing footsie with Russians.

b.) An immigrant maid at Mar-a-Lago.

c.) This is so easy. Everybody knows She was married to Frederick.

Q: Who was Napoleon Bonaparte Broward?

a.) The manager of Trump’s Twitter account.

b.) Gave a neat speech once, after which Melania lifted a few passages for her own.

c.) Wasn’t he the insecure guy with the huge ego who thought he could rule the world? Don’t you just hate people like that?

Q: What is Alligator Alley? a.) The new bowling facility at Mar-a-Lago. You really should see it. It’s Yuuuuge.

b.) A good place to dump corrupt Hillary Clinton,

c.) Where people with preexisting conditions will be tossed if Trumpcare ever becomes law. Somewhere around mile marker 82.

Q: What should happen to the state prison in Starke?

a.) Hmmm. Hillary would look good there.

b.) Let it house all of those fraud voters who voted for Hillary.

c.) How is this for a vision: Trump Towers Starke.

Q: What is a sinkhole? a.) Where Trump would like to toss Alec Baldwin.

b.) A good place to dump any Make America Great Again hats.

c.) Where House Republicans want to place America’s health care system.

Q: Where is Jupiter? a.) Wasn’t Obama born there? Or maybe it was Mars. His birth certificate was awfully funky.

b.) A good place to send the fake news media.

c.) A good place for a campus of Trump University.

Q: What is a tourist tax? a.) Something we might find on Trump’s tax returns, when his, ahem, audit is finished.

b.) Something that can be added on to the membership fee at Mar-a-Lago.

c.) Something that we can use now to pay for the wall, until Mexico pays us back, which of course they will. Just not in our lifetime.

Q: What is scummy, slimy and sleazy?

a.) What you capture at the python hunt.

b.) The person who wiretapped Trump Tower. We won’t name names, but the initials are B.O.

c.) The GOP attempt at a health care bill.

If you have taken the test and given it your full attention, you have probably come to the conclusion that all of the answers are wrong. You know that. I know that. I just wonder if the most powerful man in the world knows that.