Expressing mock envy dismaying

Dear Miss Manners: I have an acquaintance whose response to other people’s good news is always a fervent, and loud, “I’m so jealous!” This might be in response to forthcoming a vacation, a delicious dinner out or a restorative nap.

I’m sure she doesn’t realize how unpleasant it is to be told that my enjoyment has caused her emotional distress. I’ve taken to avoiding conversations with her because I am not sure how to respond to her.

I have often thought of replying with a lighthearted “Oh, dear, I had hoped you might actually be happy for me! I am so sorry to have caused you distress!” but I am not sure if this would be considered appropriate, or exactly which facial expression would be best to convey my meaning. I worry that others are also put off by what seems to be a habitual response and is, no doubt, meant to charm, not dismay.

Gentle Reader: Actually, Miss Manners finds your response to be perfect. The accompanying facial expression (eyebrows together, mouth turned down) should demonstrate that is equal parts hurt and confusion. With any luck, that will be the last time that you will have to indulge her.

Dear Miss Manners: Am I correct that food, once on my plate, remains MY food even if moved to the refrigerator as leftovers?

My husband thinks that anything he finds in the refrigerator is fair game, even if it’s my carefully wrapped half of a lobster that I couldn’t finish the night before.

Is this the accepted custom for leftovers? He says if it’s in the refrigerator, it’s for anyone. Should I buy a mini fridge to keep in my closet?

Gentle Reader: Would it not be less expensive just to appeal to your husband and ask him not to eat it? Miss Manners hopes that you will not resort to the office break room practice of labeling your food, when a short conversation after your meal seems so much easier. And would set a far better precedent for marital communication — if not marital sharing — in the future.