Family of survivor expected support

Dear Amy: My son-inlaw was shot during the Las Vegas concert in October. Fortunately, he is now OK. I belong to a religious congregation of about 35 families. One of the women and I are also part of another (affiliated) group.

At a meeting of that group, I mentioned the shooting to this woman. She said I should contact the president of the organization. I received much warmth and support from members of this group. The president sent a memo to the entire religious congregation — I know this because I am on the email list.

What happened next? Nothing! Not one person contacted me to see if he was OK, if I was OK, etc.

I am very hurt. Part of me wants to silently quit the congregation. Part of me wants to tell them how hurt I was and then quit the congregation, and part of me wants to carry on like nothing happened. Your advice? — Troubled

Dear Troubled: You should reach out to your clergy member regarding your concern. Say that your family has been through a frightening, dramatic and traumatic event, and that you would appreciate support during this challenging time.

Be frank and respectful when you describe your disappointment, even after the email. This is a pastoral matter, and your clergy should explain why your needs have been neglected.

The monstrous gunman killed 58 people and wounded more than 500 others, many of whom are still trying to recover.

You might take this opportunity to inspire the congregation not only to care more fully about you, but also to extend their compassion to the scores of family members affected by this senseless tragedy.

After speaking with clergy, you could encourage the congregation to donate to the “Music City Cares Fund,” established by the Community Foundation of Middle Tennessee (cfmt.org). This highly rated foundation has pledged that 100 percent of donations to the fund go directly to families impacted by the mass shooting. You should consider the possibility that many of them have lifted up private thoughts to you, too. I hope your faith community rises to this simple challenge with compassion.