Randomly running into ‘Unfriended’

Dear Miss Manners: I decided my friends on social media should be my actual friends.

So I unfriended the guy from high school who I don’t even remember; the woman I was barely acquainted with when I worked at that one company I left 20 years ago; the real estate agent who sold me a house 17 years ago. Now, I’m only friends with people I know and would enjoy having a cup of coffee with.

Well, I ran into the real estate woman at the hardware store and the first thing she said to me was, “I don’t see you online anymore — did you unfriend me?!?”

And I stammered that I didn’t think so, and then changed the subject. Later, when I was home, I saw that she was trying to friend me again, which so far I’m ignoring. She’s perfectly pleasant and I’m happy to make small talk the next time I run into her, but when that happens and she asks again about “unfriending,” what do I say?

Gentle Reader: That is the problem with public declarations of acquaintanceship disguised as friendship. Miss Manners suggests that you say, “I am afraid that my social media use was getting out of control” and not finish that sentence, leaving it up to the listener to infer whether you discontinued it altogether or only in regards to them.

Dear Miss Manners: I paid for a 90-day nutritional program at my gym. The coach gave us calorie and nutrition goals that include a “no alcohol” part.

My husband and I go out for dinner after work, oftentimes with friends, and I anticipate ordering off-menu and asking our servers questions. What is the best way to not be rude or overly demanding?

Gentle Reader: Call the restaurant first, or look up the menu online. When you make the reservation, ask if they take special requests in advance.

Miss Manners feels certain that any reasonably accommodating restaurant will be just as eager and relieved as your fellow guests not to have to go through a lengthy list of ingredients and swap-outs during a busy mealtime.