Acknowledge generosity only

Dear Miss Manners: My closest friend, who is 23 years my senior and does not have children of her own. She recently shared with me on my last birthday that she and her second husband have decided to include me in their will.

I’ve been told that I will be receiving onefourth of their estate — an equal share to her husband’s three children.

Firstly, I have discovered with this announcement that the mere thought of losing my best friend is utterly heartbreaking.

Wrapping my creative mind around the thought of her not being in my life in the foreseeable future has been a journey in itself.

I have already begun a grieving process, as well as shoring up my strength to prepare for speaking at her funeral.

Preparation, I know, is healthy, builds character, and will allow me to discuss different aspects of her passing while she is still vibrant.

The announcement has now had almost four weeks to settle in, and I feel I must write a letter of thanks or acknowledgment.

But I do not want to insult her generosity. I feel I cannot discuss this with anyone close, for the knowledge of wealth transference seems to bring out the worst in people.

I’m looking for honest advisement on how to proceed.

Gentle Reader: Is your friend’s death imminent? Or is she merely steeling you for the inevitable?

It seems to Miss Manners that you have indicated the latter — and that you need not work yourself up quite so intensely, quite so soon.

With any luck, it will be a long journey — and yours is a difficult momentum to keep up.

However, since you are so moved, you may certainly write a letter telling your friend how much she means to you, and that while you do not like to think about losing her, her announcement has touched you deeply. And then let it go. Surely, neither you or your friend wants to spend the duration of your relationship fretting about its demise.