Hopeful mourner should pipe down

Dear Miss Manners: A woman of my acquaintance has a strange habit at funerals: She asks when the reading of the will is to take place.

I think it is vulgar, but perhaps I am mistaken. Is it OK to ask, or should one wait to be contacted by the executor or legal professional involved?

Gentle Reader: From how many of the deceased is this woman expecting money?

She should be told that you are sure “the pertinent parties will contact you if your presence is required.”

Then Miss Manners suggests that you strategically place yourself between this woman and any open caskets.

Dear Miss Manners: We often have friends over for casual dinners and they reciprocate regularly, which is very nice. When setting the table, we put out what most people will normally use for a meal: utensils, napkins, serving implements, salt and pepper shakers, and glassware for whatever beverage is being served (usually water, iced tea or wine).

Often we are told, “That’s too much stuff on the table,” and we politely ignore such remarks. When we go to the homes of others, we regularly find absolutely nothing on the table other than a single fork at each place. Platters of food are presented with no serving utensils.

Invariably, someone will ask for a knife, a napkin, butter, a glass of water, etc., and then there is another frantic search of the kitchen for the requested item, with the hosts having to jump up and down frequently.

Whatever happened to “setting the table” — a very basic household chore that most of us learned at an early age?

Gentle Reader: What, indeed — especially since Miss Manners has no doubt that these same people registered at their weddings, birthdays and housewarmings for all that stuff they now deem excessive.

Rude observations of your correctly appointed table may be greeted with, “Maybe it’s strange, but we like to have all the eating implements we will need at the table so that we can fully enjoy your company.”