Online relationship might be a ‘catfish’

Dear Amy: I have been in a committed online relationship with a man in the UK for nearly two months, but two weeks ago, he disappeared.

I’m 25 and he is 27. I first got in contact with him selling something on eBay. Before this, we would talk for hours every day and we’d video call all the time.

We had so much in common! He made me laugh. He talked about flying out to New York to meet me.

He told me he struggled with depression and he’s been dealing with a lot, and that he needs to take some time to sort things out. I said I’m here for him and that I completely respect that he wants to take time off.

He said he tends to shut people out for a bit, but asked me not to take it personally. And now he’s gone. I tell myself that maybe he’s still taking his time? Maybe it’s all in my head? Could he be hurt? Dead?

At this point, I’m just worried. There’s no way to find out if he’s OK.

I just want to move on and accept that he’s gone (because this false sense of hope is killing me). What should I do? — Upset

Dear Upset:

This man telegraphed that he would disappear. Depressed people tend to “go to ground” when they’re not feeling well. He told you this would happen, and asked you not to take it personally.

You only knew him for an intense six weeks, but you have never known him through a depressed cycle.

I must also point out the obvious — that this man might not be at all who or what you think he is. If you’ve ever watched the documentary series “Catfish,” you will know the risks of conducting onlineonly relationships.

Give yourself six weeks to adjust. Embrace this as a learning experience and ask yourself: if he contacts you again, do you want to hop back onto this roller coaster?