Mother’s testimony used against daughter

Dear Amy: My 21-year-old grandson, who lives in another state, has let it be known to everyone that I’m responsible for his mother facing a murder charge.

When the police phoned to inform me that my daughter was missing and being sought in a murder case, I answered their questions truthfully, fearing that she might have also been shot.

I was in shock and volunteered some information that I should not have — that my daughter had previously made threats against the victim. I had no idea my comments were being recorded. Now they are part of the pretrial transcripts, and my words will be used against my daughter in court. My grandson is now denigrating my reputation among family members. I’m devastated that my daughter would commit such a horrible act. Should I try to make him understand that I thought I was doing the right thing?

Or, should I hope time will eventually heal this rift? — Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken: You are not responsible for your daughter facing a murder charge — she is.

I hope you won’t apologize for telling the truth to law enforcement. Please, think of the victim, here. That person’s family that deserves the truth.

Understand that your grandson is acting out. Reach out to him, and say that you understand he is hurting, because you are hurting, too. Remind him that you love him — that you always have and always will — and that you cannot understand or defend his mother’s actions. Tell him you know that he loves and is loyal to his mother, and that his love and loyalty will help her. Reiterate that you told the truth to law enforcement, because it was the right thing to do and you don’t regret being honest.

Face this with as much courage as you can muster. You are all going to need it.