Woman questions #MeToo moments

Dear Amy: When I was a teenager (I’m female), I experienced my share of illicit kisses, inappropriate gestures from men and sexual innuendos. Today’s climate of reportage makes women think they should consider bringing these once again to light. To what purpose?

My own thoughts are that words, caresses and even kisses, (if not of a violent nature) are not that big a deal. Only if something seriously coercive occurred in the past that involved restraint, injury or threat of terror — would I waste time trying to rectify it now. — Older and Wiser

Dear Older: If your youthful sexual experiences, whether illicit or inappropriate, didn’t bother you then and don’t bother you now, then lucky you! However, you may be conflating “hormonal” teen activity, which would be consensual, with other “illicit” activity (“forbidden” or illegal).

You shouldn’t feel pressured to confront something that happened many years ago, unless, you suspect the person would have gone on to actually victimize someone else — someone who lacked your resiliency, or who didn’t consent. Then you would be morally obligated to report it.

Back in the day, many parents, teachers, clergy, etc., reflected the prevailing culture and were so successful at silencing girls, that girls pretty much silenced themselves. I believe that many women today are inspired to try to ensure that their children experience their own sexuality free of coercion. This includes the freedom to experiment and make mistakes, and the responsibility to face the consequences of their own actions.

For any person, finding and using your voice is the gateway not only to personal power and self-esteem, but also to compassion toward others. And so even if you choose not to report, you shouldn’t judge those who do.