Should mom give toddler melatonin?

Dear Amy: A close singlemom friend of mine has very nonchalantly mentioned that she’ll give her toddler a melatonin supplement before bedtime a few times a month so the toddler won’t wake up while my friend is out partying.

In my opinion, using any sort of substance, natural or otherwise, to get your child to sleep simply because you want to go out is horribly selfish and irresponsible on so many levels. I feel like the adult thing to do would be to talk to my friend about it, but she is having a hard enough time as a single mom. — Appalled & Concerned

Dear Appalled: I shared your question with Dr. Dipesh Navsaria, a pediatrician at the University of Wisconsin.

Dr. Navsaria responds: “Melatonin plays a role in sleep and is produced by the body; there are no clear guidelines for supplemental use in children, but it’s generally recognized as safe at low doses. Occasional use as a part of treating consistent sleep problems is likely fine, preferably as advised by a health care professional. Melatonin is not a sedative, so we always emphasize that surroundings amenable to sleep are key when taking supplemental melatonin.

“I certainly wouldn’t count on melatonin to keep the child asleep — nor would I want anyone to use it if the child becomes ill and needs attention.

“I’m more concerned about the lack of willing adults in the home while the mother is out; awake or asleep; children need to be under the care of a capable, willing adult, which doesn’t seem to completely be the case here. I believe you’re right to be concerned.”

Dr. Navsaria and I agree that you should share your concerns, gently and without judgment. If your friend is just going out a few times a month, perhaps you could offer to help in some way. A once-a-month overnight at your house for the toddler would be generous.