New mom struggles with family petri dish

Dear Amy: I had a baby daughter four months ago. My in-laws called three days before Christmas to tell us that they all had colds, but insisted that we come over anyway.

My pediatrician said that the baby is fine to go out in public at her age, and we have been in many public places and attended large family gatherings. But our doctor also said that until she is 6 months old, she could get much sicker than an adult would from the viruses that cause the common cold.

When I expressed my concerns, I was belittled, told I was being overprotective.

Amy, I do not delude myself into thinking I’m creating a germ-free bubble. But if my baby were to get sick after this visit, I would feel terrible. I deeply value family time, especially since this was her first Christmas. Should I have risked getting my baby sick in order to spend it with family, or should we have stayed away? — Very Cold Christmas

Dear Cold Christmas: I don’t have the expertise to weigh in on the health risks that visiting your family’s holiday petri dish would pose to your baby. Your baby’s pediatrician does have that expertise, and you followed this recommendation.

Most importantly, you are your baby’s mother and for the next couple of decades it is your job to make decisions regarding her welfare.

Your family of in-laws has chosen to belittle you for exercising your parental judgment. I hope that their behavior was basically a non-serious, kneejerk expression of their temporary disappointment.

Buck up, dear mother. As the months go by, you will become even more competent and confident. You have opportunities to learn from more experienced parents, so try to stay open to their points of view. And then continue to exercise your best judgment.