Cellphone distracts from friendship

Dear Readers: I’ve briefly stepped away from my column to work on a new writing project. This week, I’m rerunning topical Q&A from 10 years ago. Today’s topic: cellphones.

Dear Amy: I have a good friend who is very nice, very thoughtful and very dependable. Whenever anyone needs to reach her, my friend is just one text message away. But that is just what seems to be the problem — she is always reachable, and her phone is always there, ringing off the hook with text messages.

I recently spent time with her, and we hardly talked for the few hours we were together, because of her constant receiving and sending messages. She was texting at least three times every five minutes. I appreciate that whenever anyone needs to text her, she never fails to answer promptly, but it is extremely annoying to witness.

I feel as though when I hang out with her that I am really hanging out with her phone. What is the best way to approach her about this? — Annoyed with Texting

Dear Annoyed: I don’t get it. Unless your friend is a paramedic on duty or perhaps a renowned heart surgeon waiting for the delivery of an organ to transplant, why is it necessary for her to be in constant contact with her circle?

I agree that it is very annoying to watch someone you’re with read and respond to text messages. Furthermore, it is exceedingly rude of the person to do this with abandon when she’s with you.

Perhaps the next time you’re together, you should send your pal a text, telling her how this habit affects you. Here goes: “Dear friend, your constant texting while we’re together is driving me nuts. Let’s both put down our phones while we’re together. I’ll start.”

After sending your text, turn off your phone and toss it into the middle of the table. Dare her to do the same. (July, 2009)