Student wants to shake chaperone

Dear Amy: I’m a senior college student on a medical leave of absence from school. I’m living at home until I recover. I lost much of my independence, due to this sudden ailment.

My boyfriend is coming to visit me and we are willing to be respectful and understanding of my parents’ house and their rules: e.g. no alcohol, no shared room and not being alone together.

My concern is whether it is appropriate or necessary for my significant other and me to have a chaperone every time we leave the house.

Should I just let them have their way, or should I stand my ground on not needing a babysitter on dates? — Living at Home

Dear Living:

You understand that you must respect your folks’ rules regarding conduct under their roof. You are also forced to respect their rules (and whatever consequences they assign) regarding curfews, etc. while you are living with them.

Did your parents accompany you to college in order to chaperone you there? (I assume they did not.) And this is the rational explanation you should provide to them regarding you and your boyfriend going outside of the house together. Their need to chaperone you seems very silly.

For now, instead of focusing on your parents’ forced limitations, you and your boyfriend should demonstrate to them that you can be trusted — to their standard — as much as possible. Outside the home, if you have privacy, you two should also respect your own freedom, and simply make good and healthy choices.

You don’t describe the nature of your medical situation, but take it as a given that your folks are worried about you. One way to assist in your own healing is to reduce stress and learn to mediate your anger about this. Breathe, communicate and calmly ask your folks to trust and compromise.