Visits wear thin for tired traveler

Dear Amy: I moved away from my home city 18 years ago. For many years I would go back and visit all my friends and family once or twice a year.

Now, many of my friends (and my parents) have also moved away.

I find balancing travel to see my friends, family and my partner’s parents more challenging as time goes on.

One of my oldest friends has visited me only once in the past 18 years, even though I have gone out of my way to visit her and get to know her partner and child.

I have a nice home and guest room, live in a desirable city with fun things for adults and children to do. There are easy and affordable flights between our cities.

Basically, all of my partner’s friends and family have stayed with us, but it seems that no old friends or family members care to visit me or get to share in my adult life.

How do I get over this building resentment and just realize it may never happen? — Want to Share my Life

Dear Want to Share:

You’ve spent the last (almost) two decades visiting your hometown. When you do so, you’ve been able to reconnect with multiple people at once. Your friends and family have had less of an incentive to visit you because of this.

Your partner’s friends and family might visit you more often because your partner doesn’t have a similar “onestop shopping” dynamic with his hometown.

It might not sound like a big deal to you, but hopping on a plane is a big deal for a parent. Your pal might make other trips with her child because they are visiting family members who also have children.

Personal visits are a great way to keep relationships alive, but they’re not the only way.

You might mitigate your resentment about this by altering your own travel commitments.