Partner’s proximity breeds contempt

Dear Amy: I’m 71 and live in Upstate New York, but during the winter months I stay at my girlfriend “Wendy’s” house in Florida. She is 65.

Wendy’s son (age 35) lives about 15 miles away. She uses no COVID-19 precautions when she sees him, which is at least once a day.

When he comes to visit, I put on a face mask, and stay six feet away from him.

Wendy tells me I am being rude to him by doing this.

I have given up trying to reason with her, as it only leads to an argument.

I’ve given up being intimate with Wendy, due to her unsafe behavior.

Her birthday is today, so her son came over (along with his girlfriend) to cook dinner for her.

I feel trapped. Any advice for me? — Stuck in Florida

Dear Stuck: Scores of people have figured out how to communicate, maintain family ties, and celebrate birthdays and other special occasions without risking their health, or the health of others.

The concept of “contract tracing” is being discussed, and you can well imagine that the presence of just one extra person visiting your household might potentially bring you into possible viral contact with dozens of other people. Obviously, if “Wendy” has close contact with her son, and also contact with you, you wearing a mask when around him might not protect you as much as you think.

All the same, this is Wendy’s house. This could be one of those times when ownership conveys power.

You seem to be doing your best to stay safe within this household, and that is all you can do at this point. Once you are able to safely decamp to your home, you will be able to consider the residual damage to your relationship.

Perhaps you have treated your partner like a child.

Now she’s acting like one.